It is true that a number of people who graduated from high school go to
university or college rather than work right away.
Although people who graduated from university gain have more knowledge and improve their have higher final educational background, I agree with
the opinion that finding a job right after high school is the better way to succeed.
On the one hand, some people argue that entering university or
college is the better way to make acquire a successful job. According to them, companies
are favorable to highly educated people in today’s society. Also, highly paid
careers such as doctor, nurse, and lawyers are all careers that require a university degree. For instance, statistics showed
that due to the lack of jobs in Korea, many people in the country are going to
college to obtain better education and better grades to have jobs. However,
despite the wonderful specifications, the door to employment is very narrow, so
going to college can be a waste of money and time. (이 문장은 이 문단에 넣지 마시고 다음 문단에 넣으시는 게 좋습니다)
On the other hand, others argue that it costs a lot of money to go to
university or college. To be specific, if you go to college, you have to pay
tuition for two years and for four years at university. Additionally, it
costs money not only to pay for the tuition at university, but also to buy the
books and supplies. Moreover, going to university or college is could be a waste of time. (확정을 지어서 돈이 아깝다고 주장하는 것보다, 돈이
아까울 수도 있다, 라고 적으시는 게 더 정확하고 설득력이 있습니다.)
To be precise, these
days many people take the civil service exams rather than to go to college because the country does not have
enough jobs for all of the new graduates even if they have a great background. As an example, one of my friends
did not enter college while others did. She said going to college is a waste of
money and time. This is because many people will eventually take the civil
service exam even though they graduate from college,
and the civil service exam does will not
count their degree.
In conclusion, both views have their strong points. However, in my
opinion, the latter is more convincing: the best means to obtain
successful career is going to university or college because going to
university or college is a waste of time and money. (앞뒤가 맞지 않습니다)