Some people think that universities should assign students to share dormitory rooms. Others think that students should be able to choose their roommates on their own.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Many students argue. About about whether they should be assigned to a college when they share a dormitory where they can live in school, or they should be able to can choose their own roommates. I personally think they should be able to choose their own roommates. (벌써부터 반복되는 표현이 많아서, 이에 대해 대체가 필요합니다.)
Many students gather from all parts of the country to enter universities. So (문장을 and but so로 시작하는 것은 좋지 못합니다.) many students choose to live in dormitories because they have to find a place to live. However, some school officials argue that when students are assigned dormitories, they should designate roommates at school. This is because Because they can learn how to raise and solve uncomfortable problems in while living with new people. It is important to learn how to solve problems in everyday life because people live with each other. According to a survey conducted by Seoul National University, students said they felt more mature after living with a new roommate. The reason is that the process of living with strangers, coordinating with each other, and getting to know each other made them mature.
From the same perspective as my opinion, students argue that schools cannot guarantee the suitability of roommates, so they should be able to choose roommates. Certain types of people cannot share a room because of different lifestyle habits. There is a limit to understanding each other, and as a result, they fight a lot and eventually leave the dormitory. For example, in my college days, I was assigned a room in the same dorm as a stranger. We fought a lot because there were so many parts that he didn't (줄임말은 풀어써주세요! 밑에도 마찬가지입니다.) understand each other because of his opposite personality, and eventually he left the dormitory and found a new room. Like this, I think it is never good to share a room with an unfamiliar person a type of person I don't know.
In conclusion, there is a good thing about assigning dormitories to students at school. However, in my opinion, students' own choices have better results in their school lives.
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안녕하세요 !
소요시간 50분.. 넘게 걸렸습니다.
문장구성이 좀처럼 생각이 나아지질 안았어요..
항상 첨삭 감사합니다!!
총평: (7/6/6/6) 6.5
글 자체에는 크게 문제가 없었지만, 시간의 경우 문제가 됩니다. audxogud님의 경우 내용에 크게 신경쓰지 않아도 6.0은 충분히 넘기니까, 너무 걱정마세요! 가령 지금 서울대학교 이하 부분은 그냥 쳐내도 6.0 넘기는데 아무런 문제가 없습니다. 차라리 그 시간에 표현을 다양화하는 게 더 나을 거에요~
수고하셨습니다 :)