Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone.Discuss both views and give your opinions.
It is true that students can study effectively with alone or together some Some people argue that if students want to study effectively, they should to study together, whereas others believe that it is more effective for students to study alone. (벌써 study가 네 번이나 쓰였습니다. 반드시 대체해주셔야 해요.)
On the one hand, it is true that it is true to say that (여기는 옮기는 과정에서 문제가 생긴듯 싶네요.) spending time alone to study effectively, which gave can give opportunities for them (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상이 대명사로 작성되어서는 안 됩니다.) to concentrate on their studies. This is because, it can have the flexibility to spend my there will be the flexibility to efficiently spend time, by planing the schedule, people can save and spend time efficiently. For instance, a friend of mine has been studying together with others have been study together with ones. However, the ones used to not concentrating to study the members did not concentrate and they were usually late in an appointment, which caused a negative impact on his score.
On the other hand, others argue that it is more effectively to study together. To be specific, studying with others can improve grades ones made grade better. This is because, it can help them when they were find it hard to solve not be solved problems, by discussing about challenges, they can be solved. For example, the studies have shown that most students who studied with others, received a higher score in South Korea get higher score than themselves in south korea. In other case, my friends were almost each day studied together his academic team. This is because, he did not solved tasks, asking to them and discussing together, which was helped to my friends. Furthermore, he got high score more than that he wanted grade. (여기의 경우 앞에서 했던 말을 그대로 반복하는, 즉, 아무 의미 없는 문장입니다.)
In conclusion, I agree the letter that spending time on studying alone is a more brilliant brilliantly methods. This is because, if it can helps students to discuss and solve the problems that one does do not know. For these reasons I i think it is better to study studying together efficiently more than others.
총평: (5/5/5/5) 5.0
7월 초에 올려주셨던 2~3개의 글은 그래도 이정도는 아니었는데, 이번 글의 경우 표현상으로나 내용상으로나 문제가 정말 많습니다. 바로 다음 글도 흝어봤는데, 이전 글들보다는 이번 글이랑 비슷하므로, 냉정히 말씀드리자면 이번의 두 글이 본 실력에 가깝다고 봐야겠지요. 5점대 정도만 필요하시면 그래도 괜찮겠지만, 6점대 이상이 필요한 경우라면 꽤나 보완이 필요하므로, 이 공부법에 대해서는 다음 글까지 봐드린 뒤에 같이 묶어서 알려드리겠습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)