안녕하세요, task1 첨삭 부탁드립니다.
시간은 16분 정도 걸렸고, 161 자입니다.
감사합니다.
To whom it may concern,
Hello, my name is Ian Jeong. I am writing this email to inquire of an opening for a part-time server in Vancouver Hotel restaurant (얘까지 묶어서 하나의 고유명사로 보는 게 맞습니다.). I have been am looking for a part-time job for this summer vacation, and this job is what I have been looking for the last few weeks.
To begin with, I have experiece of that working as a full-time server for 3 years at Burnaby restaurant (얘도 마찬가지이고요.). I quitted it to study, but I always missed working at the restaurants. I am good at customer services such as taking orders and cleaning the floors. I am also able to work as a team.
I have a couple of questions. First, I am wondering that what work I would take for this position. I want to know the job responsiblities. Also, I want to know the jobs condition such as working hours and wage. I attached my availabilities.
I hope to get your reply sooner.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Ian Jeong
총평: (7/7/6/6) 6.5
내용상으로는 7점에 크게 문제가 없었는데, 이에 비해 어휘+문법 쪽은 조금 아쉬웠습니다. 씽씽님의 경우 아직 어휘+문법이 7.0선에서 100% 안정적이다고 말씀드리기에는 조금 무리가 있기 때문에, 글을 쓰는 것과 별개로 꼭 어휘+문법에 대한 공부를 따로 해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)