The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram describes the process of how people in an Australian town turn rain water to the water that people can drink.
Overall, the process is formed with 5 main steps, from collecting water to drinking water. All the water in the process is transferred via the pipe that connects all the necessities in the procedure.
In the first step, the pipes on the different houses gather rain water from the water and drain it into the connected pipes under the house. The pipes between the storage tank and those pipes, there is a water filter, which water must pass. (여기는 앞부분이 살짝 꼬인 것 같은데 댓글 한번 주세요!) Before the water is mixed up with some chemicals, it is temporarily collected in the storage tank.
Water is moved via the pipe into the water treatment tank, where different chemicals mixed up with water, and finally this water can be drunk by the people. It spend to the pipe that is place one the side of the house. (여기도 같이 댓글 주시면 됩니다.)
문법, 어휘, 모범답안 분석을 꾸준히 해오기는 했는데 오랜만에 쓰려고 하니 task 1, 2 둘다 생각대로 잘 안써져서 이번 글들은 자신이 없네요.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
걱정해주신 것과 달리, 오랜만에 쓰신 것 치고 큰 문제 없이 잘 적어주신 편입니다. 물론 위의 두 문장이 조금 아쉬운 상황이긴 하지만, 그렇게 크게 작용하지는 않을 거에요.
글쓰는 것과 관련해서는 어차피 쓰다보면 금방 감을 다시 찾으실 겁니다. 고로 너무 걱정하지 마세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)