More and more people wear fashionable clothes. Is this positive or negative development?
These days, many people tend to wear fashionable clothes more than the past. I personally believe this is a positive development because it seems to me the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
First, this tendency (이게 뭔지를 다시 한번 상기시켜주셔야 합니다.) can provide many options to the customers. Back in the days, there were not a lot of options that people could choose unless they were wealthy or noble. Thus, people usually only had few clothes to wear. In contrast, nowadays, regardless of their position, there are various types of outfits to buy in a reasonable price, and some people use their outfits to show as showing their individualities. Colours, form or even fabric that is used to make the dresses can provide many choices to people to buy the products depending on their taste.
Furthermore, in terms of economical aspect, this trend (여기와) can activate another new industry. Fashion industries are regarded as one of the biggest industries that have been grown up rapidly for past decades. Not only high-end brands, but also spa brands such as H&M have become a huge company over the world. For instance, we We can find many clothing shops easily in the locals, and many brands hold fashion shows themselves and invite many celebrities to promote their products in huge scale. Accordingly, raising of fashion industries can contribute to society with more job opportunities.
In conclusion, I claim that this trend (여기의 경우도 마찬가지입니다. 글쓰기에 있어 가장 중요한 사항 중 하나는 바로 핵심에 대한 꾸준한 상기입니다.) is positive because people can express their individualities by what they wear. In addition, raising the rise of fashion industries can provide more job opportunities to society.
총평: (7/7/6/7) 7.0
이번 글 괜찮았습니다. 물론 Task1 때문에 총점이 7점 나올 확률은 적긴 하지만, 그래도 일단 어느정도 깔끔했다는 점에 의의를 두시는 것도 나쁘지 않아보이네요. 위에서 말씀드렸듯이 핵심에 대한 상기는 매우 중요하므로, 꼭 반영해주세요~
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