Some people believe that students should be taught international news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
As With the growth of technology, the world is being globalized, so various the changes are made rapidly. To accommodate them, international news is helpful, so some people think that it has to be one of the subjects at school for students to learn. However, others believe it is a waste of time, and I personally agree with them and will discuss reasons about both views and my opinion further. (discuss both 유형 서론에서는 템플릿 사용하는 것도 권장드립니다. 단, 서론만요. 본론까지 템플릿을 쓸 필요는 없고, 그래서도 안 됩니다.))
By learning international news, it is useful to keep in track with the change that is made in the world. The influence from other countries is getting larger. Moreover, with the argument about news extend in the process of debating about the news, it can help extend (일단은 제가 이해한 바에 따라 바꿔드렸습니다. 혹시 이게 아니었을 경우 댓글 주세요!) the knowledge and communication skills that are is needed for rest of the life. Lots of money and time is needed to create a new subject. Also, insufficient news that is important to know is offered every day.
Despite there are advantages to students, the risk of time and money is bigger to make international news as a subject. It requires teachers, textbooks and resources. Without any special events, there will be no news, so the resources are unexpected and scarce. (이 문장 좋았습니다.) Furthermore, knowledge and communication skills still can be built through the other subjects like English and math Math.
In conclusion, some people think it is good to have a subject to explore international news, while others believe it is total waste of time. I personally think the risks that people have to handle are is too much to create a subject because there is no assurance that resources will be provided constantly, and skills can be expanded with the other subjects.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
이번 글도 괜찮았습니다. 자잘한 오류들이 있긴 하지만, 이정도 이내로만 유지되면 크게 문제는 없을 거고, 특히 본론2와 결론은 내용상으로 아주 깔끔하게 적어주셨어요.
+이전 시험에서 문제가 됐던 '긴장' 은 지니님께서 잘 대처해서 다음 시험에 같은 일이 반복되지 않도록 주의해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)