Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be a allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief that all university students only are taught things that are be likely to become valuable in their future life. However, there is a more persuasive arguments that all students should be educated subjects that they want to learn at university, because it can make them more excel in many areas and boost their confidence.
On the other hand, all university students are required to learn about valuable subjects or skills, such as science knowledge and technology skills. The This educational method is adopted by a large number of school all over the worlds. This is because through Because, this way, when they find employment, they will be more likely to gain opportunities gain more opportunity to be hired by major companies. (여기, 그리고 밑의 문단들에서도 엔터를 한 번 치고 넘긴 문장들은 다 엔터 없이 스페이스로만 이어가셔야합니다. 이것도 다 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요~)
For example, In recent years, research has shown that the majority of graduates are ranked highly in a survey of employment rate. Because the skills play crucial role in their development, and it is fact that they are require to be trained various valuable skills in modern society because of recent social phenomenon (여기는 의도하신 바에 대해 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.)
Neverthless, learning whatever they like is the most important factor in their life because of thier happiness.
Specifically, even though they can be an outstanding person as a member of society, there is no guarantee that it will be able to satisfy their life constantly. Because there is a good chane that they would be stressed out by they while they are working or studying.
For instance , a recently study published study illustrates, people who learned whatwever they were intersted in from they were in school, they could realize that in which field they have the adventage, and in In this way, they could excel in many areas and boost their confidence because of the awareness of their own adventage.
To sum up, even though only learning valuable skills are is beneficial to students, (여기도 엔터키가 잘못 눌렸습니다.)
It is undeniable that students should learn whatever they want to so that they seek to find their own happiness.
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총평: (6/5/6/6) 6.0
우선 철자 오류가 꽤 보이는 상황이므로 주의해주셔야 합니다. 또한, 엔터키 사용 관련해서도 신경써주셔야 하는데, 엔터를 한 번만 치는 경우는 없으니까 아예 엔터를 두 번 쳐서 문단을 나눠주시거나, 엔터 없이스페이스로 쭉 이어주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)