Some people
think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others
think it is a west of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some people argue
that art lessons in schools are required for students, meanwhile others believe that
they do not need to learn the subject. Although both views will be discussed,
but I personally think that the former is more persuasive. Nowadays, art is
considered one of the nonmainstream parts because it has a lot of difficulties
to be a stable occupation. However, in childhood or adolescence, it is a good
outlet for their people's complicated emotions. In addition, they could find their potential
aptitude through its classes.
총 글자수:84자
총 소요시간:7분
총평: 지현님 혹시 지금 아이엘츠 논제들을 바탕으로 DET에 맞게 쓰시는 중이라면, 별로 권장드리지는 않습니다. 혹여나 그렇게 쓰더라도 아이엘츠식의 쓰기는 버리셔야 하고요. 예를 들면 지금 글의 경우 첫 두 문장에서 상당한 분량 낭비를 하고 있습니다. 일단 DET 질문들로 최대한 써보시는 게 좋고, 만약에 질문이 떨어져서 아이엘츠 식으로 쓰더라도 서론은 정말 최소한으로 간추리거나 아예 없애는 식으로 쓰세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)