Some people believe that students should be taught international news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is clear that any country cannot survive
alone in the era of globalization. Thus, we have to notice what happens in the
world and how it effects on our countries. Therefore, some people
think students have to study it at school and I also think there are some
advantages when studying as a subject at school. This essay will discuss in
detail after providing both views. (여기서 both views라고 하셨죠. 이게 정당화되려면, 이 표현 앞에서 두 입장이 모두 소개되어야 해요. 그러나 지금은 하나의 입장밖에 없는 상황입니다.)
First of all, if schools teach
their students international events as a subject, most students can learn
without their effort to search what happened around the world. Because Although it is
definitely important nowadays to study global news, but only a few students try to
study in their free time. Thus, the more school provides the class, the more
students can learn easily.
On the other hand, there might be people who think it would be a waste of valuable school time. On the modern society, many people consider school as the place where students learn skills to join a university and get a job rather than study liberal arts. Moreover, good grade is more important than class contents. For people who think school is just a step for success, learning international events at school is useless. They might want to learn more efficient skills for jobs.
In conclusion, importance of learning international
news at school is different, depending on what people want to learn at school.
However, I agree that it is useful to learn global things at school. It might
not be related to get a good job immediately, but students can improve their views in various fields, which can be helpful in their lives.
Also, I think schools should teach not only skills for jobs but also liberal
arts that makes young students’ lives better in many ways including except career.
overall : 7.0
총평: (7/6/6/7) 6.5
본론에 힘이 실려야 하는데, 대신 서/결론 쪽으로 쏠린 점, 그리고 단어가 약간은 제한적인 점은 아쉬웠지만, 그래도 전반적인 내용이나 문법은 깔끔했기 때문에 최소 6.5는 괜찮을 거에요. 지금 점수도 제가 조금 짜게 매겨서 그렇지, 조금 너그러운 채점관 만나면 7.0도 가능해보입니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)