Some people believe that unpaid community service
should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for
a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger
children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? |
It is clear that there are people who
believe that unpaid community service does not need to be a mandate part of high
school programmes because it is responsibility of cities or states.
(여기서 따로 엔터치지 않습니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요!)
However, there is a more persuasive argument
that high school programmes should contribute to community.
Most people think unpaid community services
should be provided by city council. They should not impose roles to schools. In
addition, it is important to ask students whether want to do it or not because
students could not want to do that. If it becomes compulsory programmes, they
would not focus on their original works. (이 문단은 '필수이어야 한다' 즉 밑의 문단과 같은 논지로 가는 또다른 내용으로 채워주시면 됩니다. 이에 대해서는 총평에서 링크를 하나 드릴게요.)
Nonetheless, I firmly believe that schools
should be a part of social communities because we can see that schools are not
only an education centre but also one of community centres. Furthermore, students
can learn importance of living in community and how to be a good member of
society and help other people in the neighbourhood and realise to consist of
society themselves so that many students would be contribute for nation and the
world. (여기는 어떤 의미로 적어주셨나요? 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다. +문장이 너무 길어지지 않도록 주의해주세요~문장이 길어지면 문법 오류만 늘어나게 됩니다.) In this regard, joining Joining into society is the first step. Through these activities,
society can be healthier and have firm a base.
Even though there are opinions that roles
of community service should not be imposed to high school, it is imperative that
people should learn how to engaged in society from when they are younger.
총평: (6/5/6/6) 6.0
대비되는 두 개의 입장이 있다고 해서 두 입장을 기계적으로 무조건 다루는 것이 아니라, 논제의 발문(여기의 경우 to what extent do you agree or disagree?)에 맞춰갈 수 있어야 합니다. 이건 매우 중요한 사항 중 하나이므로, 링크를 넣어드릴테니 꼭 정독해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_method&p=3&type=url&uid=471212