<Topic> The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. | |||
The chart illustrates the proportion of Australians doing regular exercise in six different age groups concerning male and female in 2010. To begin with, the most interesting feature is that percentages over 50 were mostly shown in women aged between 35 and 64. On the other hand, male teenagers who work out regularly showed 52.8% in 2010. It is also interesting that the average percentage number fluctuated between 40 to 50 percent in almost all aged groups. There were also some gap differences between these ages. The biggest gap between male and female was age between 35 to 44 and the second biggest gap was age 45 to 54, which were following generations. Meanwhile, In conclusion, men tend to exercise more regularly than women at their early age; however, after 25 years old, women did more physcial activity in their later life. (이전 글들에서도 말씀드렸듯이, task 1은 결론을 내기 위해 존재하는 글이 아닙니다. 서론 밑에 overview를 넣어주세요~) | |||
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Grammar | Vocabulary | Cohesion and Coherence | Task Response |
6/9.0 | 7/9.0 | 6/9.0 | 7/9.0 |
감사합니다.
총평: 이번 글의 경우도 우선은 Overview 관련해서 주의해주시면 되겠습니다. (저 문단의 내용 자체는 맞습니다. 위치가 엉뚱한 곳에 있을 뿐이죠.)
수고하셨습니다 :)