Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.
Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
As time goes by, it is obvious that we have more opportunities to buy something on the internet (인터넷은 고유명사이므로 대문자 시작입니다.) and it is getting popular as well. With regards to this, I believe that this changed shopping style has more advantages thandisadvantages (여기 포함해서 지금 띄어쓰기 오류가 꽤 있는 상황인데, 아마 글을 옮기는 과정에서 생긴 시스템상의 오류라고 보여집니다. 고로 채점할 때에는 따로 반영하지 않겠는데, 만약에 시스템상의 오류가 아니라 진짜 띄어쓰기를 실수로 안 하신 거면 주의해주세요! 실전에서는 이런 것도 다 점수에 들어갑니다.).
There is no doubt that online shopping is convenient for various invarious reasons. However, in contrast with that, some people say the biggest disadvantage mostdisadvantage of online shopping is the delivery time, but it is getting better.As technology advances, many delivery companies use the improved technology toreduce delivering time. Consequently, it worked. Some big delivery companies,such as Amazon, Wish, have their own structure tor the better quality ofdelivery. Even though the weakness of online market is that customers can notexperience the products in person before they buy it, online markets have some functions to solve this problem to some extent tosolve to some what extent this problem. Not only, customers can check theirsize by people who already purchased it but also they can compare the productsby reviews.
Due to COVID19, there are so many obstacles to go somewhere tobuy something. In order to avoid this situation, buying making an online purchase can be the bestoption for the purchasers. It is because, they do not have to take a risk theirsafety for the shopping. They can buy something in their house with few clicks.Not only this, from an economic point of view, this changed shopping patterncan be affect the economy in a good way. Many people are involved in this deliverysystem, so it It can lead to the increase of the employment rate.
To conclude, I strongly believe that the advantages of onlineshopping outweigh the disadvantages, because it is more accessible and more convenientthan the previous shopping patter. In addition, this can be a great chance to solvethe unemployment problem.
글자수: 299
시간: 20분 -> 이거는 4인데 2로 오타가 난 거겠죠? 만약에 20분 내에 쓰신 거면, 거기서 끝내지 말고 남은 20분동안 검토를 꼭 해주셔야 합니다.
목표 7
* 매일 퇴근하고 라이팅 2개 쓰기로 다짐했지만 선생님 말씀대로 하루 쉬었긴 했는데 불안한 마음에 썼네요,,,ㅠ죄송해요
총평: (7/6/6/6) 6.5
다짐을 지금까지 매우 잘 지켜오신 것만으로도 정말 긍정적입니다. 모든 학생들은 당연히 열심히 할게요! 라고 하지만, 실제로 asdflsa님처럼 그걸 꽤 오랜 기간동안 꾸준히 하는 학생은 거의 없습니다. 대부분 작심삼일에 그쳐요.
대신 그 다짐과 더불어서 꼭 문법+어휘 공부, 그리고 모범답안 분석을 잘 해주셔야 합니다. 지금까지도 꾸준히 해오셨으리라 믿고, 혹시 지금 이걸 읽고 뜨끔하시면 오늘부터라도 꼭 해주세요! 퇴근하고 라이팅2개+문법/어휘 공부+모범답안 분석까지 다 해주시면 좋지만, 현실적으로 그러기에는 불가능할 겁니다. 이 경우는 차라리 라이팅2개를 1개로 줄일지언정, 문법/어휘/모범답안을 포기해서는 안 됩니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)