Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children
In many countries, the governments implement the process of vaccination towards young children against common diseases. Some believe that getting an immunization for children is absolutely their parent’s decision while others think that it should be mandatory to them. I personally believe that every child should be immunized through vaccinations at their proper age because it can have power to not to spread the diseases among young pupils and for the public health.
To begin with, it is common
to see that many young children catch a flu or seasonal disease especially during winter time. Even though the children have symptoms because of the diseases, many
parents just send them to a daycare center or other facilities because they have
to work or study. Because of this, the diseases can be easily spread to not only
other children but also the teachers and caregivers. Parents simply can avoid
the common diseases by letting them to get vaccinations but many of them are just
trying to make excuses that they do not have time for that or they do not trust the vaccination system. Either way, it is their responsibilities to not to send
their sick kids to public places to prevent contagion and it is a common knowledge
as a society member. It can be a light cold for some children but it can evolve
a serious disease to other children or even adults. Therefore, parents should follow
the system and law that require a processing the vaccination for children.
Moreover, tracking a record of vaccination can be one of effective ways of managing and checking childhood health. Whenever they move to other places or change their school, the record can show children’s overall health so that the facilities can take care of them effectively. In addition, it is important to know that any children should not get any abuse from their parents and vaccination could be a good evidence that parents raise their children in a proper way. For example, there are substantial number of physical abuses against children in South Korea and it is hard to speculate without parent’s agreement. If parents did not take their children to clinic to get vaccination with no reason and it is repeated during childhood, this can be definitely possible proof of child abuse or even domestic violence. (이 문단 근거 전개 매우 좋았습니다.)
In conclusion, although parents
have any every rights to make decisions on their child, immunization should be implemented
in a governmental way so that public health can be more secure and reliable.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
간만에 잘 써주셨습니다. 표현상 크게 문제도 없었고, 본론 두 번째 문단의 경우는 특히 깔끔했네요. 채점관에 따라 7.5도 충분히 가능해보입니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)