Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
-
It is a common belief that spending one’s time in working is important than spending one’s time with their family. However, there is a more persuasive argument that devoting one’s time to family activities is more vital because by doing it, it gives family members happiness and relax.
On the one hand, it is important to devote
individual’s time to work because it makes family’s financial condition better,
and therefore, it could lead to family’s happiness. For example, if parents own
a lots of money, they could buy various things to their kids. Kids will feel
happy about having things what they want, and simultaneously, parents will also
feel happy by watching their kids’ reaction. Some research has shown that a
child who was raised in wealthy family is brighter than who are not.
Nevertheless, I support the idea that
dedicating one’s time to family activities is more important because it gives
family members happiness and relax. By spending more time with family, they can
build a strong relationship to each other. Moreover, when they spend their time
together playing sports or games, they can forget about a thing and focus on
what they are doing. And this will release their stress and make them happy. A
resent published study illustrates that a person who spend more time to family
activities and got more concerns from their parents is more socialized and have
good relationships with people.
To sum up, while it is apparent that
devoting one’s time to work is important, it is undeniable that dedicating one’s
time to family activities is more vital.
-
조금 주제에 벗어나게 쓴 것 같아서 걱정되네요ㅜㅜㅜ 항상 첨삭 감사드립니다.
템플릿에서 벗어나 써보라고 하셨는데 아직은 템플릿없이 글자수를 채우기는 버겁네욤...