Some educationalists
think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school.
To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Among educationalists, there There
is a positive view on the good points of having international exchange student
programmes in schools among educationalists. In my opinion, there are clear
reasons for their view that the benefits are overwhelming the possible risks.
First of all, in the case of sending our
students to oversea schools, it would be a great opportunity for the selected
students in their teenage years. For instance, sent students can learn foreign
cultures and foreign (생략 가능하며, 그렇게 해주는 게 좋습니다.) languages while taking normal school classes at foreign
schools. These educational experiences will not only be the valuable assets for
the development of individual students’ educational boundaries but also for the
two countries involved as countries can make the source of connections via
exchange students. In this way, an exchange student programme can benefit the
participants and the country at the same time.
However, someone might oppose this policy for in the aspect of discriminatory nature caused by a limited chance for the small number of students who can be selected. To this account, receiving foreign students can be a great counter to the possible disadvantages that might posed as noted. By having foreign students in our schools, the advantages noted above can also be secured with no difference. For example, invited students shall bring their own culture and languages to our home. Thus, by promoting the mingling between students, we can open a bigger door for our students to develop their language skills and international friendship. That means, by inviting a small number of international students, we can achieve same results of sending hundreds of students to overseas.
In
conclusion, sending an exchange student policy has clear advantages. Adding to
that, by receiving students to our schools, we can also prevent the possible
disadvantages at the same time. Thus, there is no reason for us not to take the
international exchange visit programme for our teenage students.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
이전 글과 마찬가지로 크게 문제 없이 깔끔하게 적어주신 글입니다. 채점관에 따라서는 7.5까지도 괜찮을 것 같네요. 대신 한 가지만 말씀드리자면, students를 필두로 몇몇 표현들의 반복이 꽤 되고 있는 상황입니다. 특히 students는 경우에 따라 충분히 대체가 가능하므로, 종종 바꿔가며 작성해주세요! 제이비님 실력이면 충분히 혼자 바꾸실 수 있을 거라 제가 따로 건드리지는 않았습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)