Q: Nowadays, an increasing number of advertisements are directed at children, which persuades children to buy foods, toys and other products. Parents believe it puts great pressure on children. However, some advertisers claim there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Children have been bombarded with different commercials nowadays due to the great advance in technology and the increase in the children’s use of media. Regarding this issue, some parents are concerned that the advertisements significantly influence children to purchase the products shown in the ads. Whereas, people who advertise the commercials maintain that they also provide positive information to children (동의어가 많이 있는 편이니까 잘 활용해주시면 됩니다.). This essay will discuss both arguments and my opinion in regard to this issue.
Parents of the children who easily access to the advertisements which target children insist that those commercials are harmful because they pressure children and affect them to make poor choices. Most youngsters are not sensible enough to critically examine advertisements. They might innocently believe what advertisers say on commercials to persuade the targets. Moreover, when other peers show off their purchase of a product which appeared on a famous advertisement, some children can feel pressure to buy one.
On the other hand, some advertisers claim that some of information on ads is useful to children. They believe that commercials provide information of a product such as its benefits of it and how it like and help children to compare different products and make a decision. People who are in favour of the advertisements directed at children also suggest that commercials improve children’s literacy and broaden their aesthetic sights. This is because advertisements require young people to read texts and present different designs to children.
In my point of view, I believe children-targeting advertisements have negative impacts on youngsters. Children are exposed to diverse advertisements, and most of them are not capable of criticizing contents of advertisements and might end up recklessly purchasing products. I suggest schools should teach children how to be a sensible reader and filter information they encounter. (제언까지 할 필요는 없습니다.)
총평: (7/8/7/7) 7.5
잘 써주셨습니다. 대신 children이 너무 자주 쓰이지 않도록 조금만 신경써주시고, task2에서 제언을 하는 것은 십중팔구 월권행위입니다. 원인-해결 유형 정도를 빼면, 내가 제언을 먼저 할 일은 없다고 보셔도 돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)