Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?
The importance of happiness related to works has been highlighted over the last quarter century. From this aspect, questions about whether a huge amount of salary is more significant than job satisfaction are raised. In my view, job satisfaction is much more critical. to some extent.
Evidently, job satisfaction gives individuals a sense of happiness that no money can ever guarantee. This is because nonmaterial things such as work achievement and passion for jobs which are created by job satisfaction make individuals feel happy. This leads to increased work productivity and results. (지금 지워진 부분을 대신해서 이 문단, 그리고 밑의 문단을 추가적으로 다뤄주시면 됩니다.)
In addition, while the merits of high revenue cannot be ignored, the probability that employees stay in one workplace is high. This undoubtedly leads individuals to build more work experience which is good for future career and this in turn leads to more chances to promote to executive.
However, less opportunities to accumulate wealth are given. A pertinent example of this is that individuals who change jobs depending on the salary are able to buy more real estate because most of the company pays for new workers special extra pay to enhance motivation.
To recapitulate, if job satisfaction is considered as priority, fewer chances to accumulate wealth is given but individuals feel a sense of happiness that no money guarantees and stay in one workplace. Therefore, Job job satisfaction is much more critical than high revenue.
총평: (5/6/7/7/) 6.5
논제에서 do you agree or disagree, 혹은 이와 유사한 표현으로 수키님의 의견을 묻고 있으면, 웬만하면 동의면 동의, 반대면 반대만 쓰시는 걸 추천드립니다. 그렇지 않고 지금처럼 억지로 부분동의를 하려고 하면 입장이 통일되지 않거나, 채점관에게 잘못 전달될 위험이 있으며, 애초에 부분동의가 안 되는 논제들도 존재해요. 이에 비해 동의이든 반대이든 하나로 몰아버리면 그런 걱정은 할 필요도 없게 됩니다. 괜히 서론에서처럼 '어느정도로만' 이라는 표현을 쓰면서 현재 지워진 세 번째 문단처럼 반대 입장도 끼워넣으려고 하지 마세요~
비법노트 게시판 4페이지에 가시면 후라이드 vs 양념 이론이라는 글이 있습니다. 그걸 참고해보시면 도움이 될 거에요.
수고하셨습니다 :)