Q.
Some people say that the main environmental
problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others
say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A.
There is no doubt that human beings lie on
various environmental problems. With regards to this, some people say the main
problem of our era is the extinction (다른데에도 다 이렇게 바꿔주시면 됩니다.) distinction of living things. On the other hand,
others say there are more serious problems. This essay will discuss both point
of views and my opinion as well.
It is obvious that distinction of living
things is the serious problem. First of all, distinction of living things can
cause the problem of food chain. If specific predator is disappeared, the
balance of the ecosystem in wild will fall apart. However, I would be cautious
to claim that it is the main of the environment issue. It is because, almost
every problem is connected each other. For example, I people do not recycle the
garbage, it will be lead to the air pollution and damage to creatures, causing
extinction. Therefore, I strongly believe there is no main environmental
problem, everything is critical. (지워진 부분을 대신해서, 남은 부분에 대해 보완을 해주시면 됩니다. 왜 동식물의 멸종이 가장 큰 환경 문제인지를 적어주시면 돼요.)
As many problems are linked, it is
important to know that there are many significant nature issues that we have to
take care of, rather than saying there are more important issues. It can be
recycling, air pollution, cutting the trees, etc. Furthermore, in order to save
our plane, we have to practice what we know from small things to big things. (여기를 대신해서 위에 빨간색으로 지워진 부분, 즉 '더 큰 환경 문제가 있다' 를 넣어주시면 되며, 1~2줄을 더 추가해주시면 됩니다.)
To conclude, I strongly believe that every environmental
issues can affect each other. Therefore, people have to keep in mind that our trivial
behaviors also can influence on the environment. (제언을 하실 필요는 없습니다. 논제에서 요구된 바가 없어요. 그냥 뭐가 제일 큰 환경 문제인지만 밝혀주시면 됩니다.)
시간: 47분.. 아이디어가 떠오르지 않아 3번째 문단쓰는데 시간을 다 써버렸네요..
글자수: 딱 250 (소름...)
목표: 7
총평: (5/6/6/7) 6.0
시간이랑 글자수 둘 다 문제이긴 한데(글자수는 270~80자는 확보해주셔야 실전에서도 문제없이 250을 넘길 수 있습니다.), 그걸 떠나서 구조부터 바꿔주셔야 합니다.
Discuss both 유형에서는 입장이 두 개 주어지죠. 그러면 이를 각각의 본론에서 객관적으로 다뤄주시면 됩니다. 그리고 내가 반박하고 싶은 얘기가 있으면 그거는 결론에서 다뤄주시면 되고요. 본론에서는 철저히 각 입장의 장점만 소개해주시면 돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)