▶ Your Answer :
It is true that eighty percent of young
children start to go to school nowadays. It is probably because of the changed
society which a young child did not go to school at age of 4 or 7 in the past. Learning
from school in an early age has both positive and negative features and I think
it has more negative sides for children.
(Need better topic sentence)>On the one hand, little children can
integrate into a social group as they started learning at schools. Generally,
students quickly adapt to the different nature, culture and rules in terms of
learning at an early age. Hence, some kids, who are in schools at age seven, they
are more likely be used to getting along with classmates than others who do not
study at that the age. As well as, if children started learning at schools in an
early age, they can become more independent from on their parents. For example,
usually, a young kid needs his/her mother to get them dressed up or fed feed them
every day, but as some kids are learning about good behaviors, they wear their
clothes by themselves and they know how to eat food in an appropriate way. In brief, starting school early early school start is effectively suitable for children’s development.
On the other hand, young children still
need a parents' love. Starting school early Early school start is not always an ideal method to teach them.
To illustrate this, from four to seven years old children, they are still not
comprehensive on learning, and they even they cannot distinguish what behavior is wrong or right
on their behavior. Therefore, at this age, having a strong bond with their
parents is vitally important.<(이것이 학교를 일찍 시작 하는 것과 어떤 관계가 있나요?) Another disadvantage is that kids can obtain
pressure that they have to go to school without knowing any reason. As I mentioned
above, it is too young to leave their parents to go to schools, so they do not
want to be separated with their parents. As a result, younger children’s behavior
and mentality can be affected by stress.
In conclusion, if little ages children go
to schools, there can be possibilities of on enhancing self-development, however I
think the most important thing is they need a plenty of loves and cares from
parents rather than education.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 전체적으로 글 정리를 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 특히, 문법에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시고 조금 더 다양한 표현을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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