You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.
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Nowadays, most college students live a long distance from home and some people say that there are some inconveniences when they live on their own away from their parents house. However, I opine that there are more benefits when college students living in the live in a house around the university.
To begin with, there are two main problems when college students live with their parents. First of all, students can be a violation of their privacy from their parents. To be specific, generally, when they turn twenty, they become aware of being adults and do not want to be violated by their parents students have the right to get out of their parents constraints and experience things they have not done. Moreover, they waste a time when they live in the parent house. For example, in my experience when I go to university it usually takes 1 hour by public transportation and this is a hard part it is because most universities start classes at 9 am and finish at 8 pm and theses means they can not avoid from rush hour and in these process they feel uncomfortable and tired. (여기도 후라이드 vs 양념이 적용됩니다. 서론에서 분명 장점 쪽을 선택해주셨으므로, 글 내내 장점에 대해서만 다뤄주시면 돼요.)
There are two benefits when students live in their apartment or house. First and foremost, they can learn about responsibility. For example, if they live alone, they have to handle things such as rent and meals on their own. In this process, they can have a sense of responsibility as an adult and a time to think seriously about their future. Also, students can use their time efficiently. Most school-going students who live with their parents waste their time by using transportation. In in contrast, students who live on their own may have the opportunity to use the time efficiently. They they can do a part-time job and study for a certificate and these minor differences make a big difference change later on, compared to those who live with their parents. between a student living alone and school-going students.
As it has been demonstrated, college students who live with their parents can be face facing uncomfortable situations such as an invasion of privacy and a waste wasting time. However, in contrast to students who live who lives alone, they can learn responsibilities and also can earn a salary.
글자수: 335자
소요시간: 45분
외부도움: 파랑색 부분
목표점수: 6.0
PS
main 이랑 sub 를 각 본론마다 2개씩 넣어서 그런지 글자수가 좀 많이 나왔습니다.
질문 있습니다.
1. 파랑색 으로 표시한 부분을 보시면 " by " 라고 작성한게 보이실거에요. 혹시 " by " 대신에 " from " 이라고 작성하면 문법적인 오류가 생기나요?
-> 둘 다 조금 어색하다고 보셔야 합니다. 그냥 by로 가시는 게 훨씬 나아요!
2. ( 자취생, 통학생 ) - 영어로는 어떻게 작성 해야 하나요? 번역기로 찾아봤는데 좀 이상하게 나온것 같아서요...
->영어에는 이에 대응하는 한 단어가 없기 때문에 제가 바꿔드린 것처럼 풀어써주셔야 합니다. 참고로, 번역기는 별로 추천드리지 않습니다. 적어도 공부하는 과정에서는요~
총평: (5/6/6/5)
이번 글의 경우 가장 큰 문제는 후라이드 vs 양념이 됩니다. To what extent do you agree~~ Do you agree~~ 이러한 발문들은 무조건 두 입장 중 하나만 골라서 팬다고 생각하세요!
또한, 다시금 문장이 너무 길어지고 있습니다. 대표적으로 Also 로 시작하는 문장이 이에 해당되고요. 제가 두 번이나 끊어드렸는데, 여하튼 최대한 짧게 짧게 갈 수 있도록 신경써주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)