[Topic]
You should spend about 40
minutes on this task.
Learning about the past has no
value for those of us living in the present.
To what extent do you agree or
disagree?
Give reasons for your answer
and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
You should write at least
250 words.
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[Answer]
Although some Some people insist that the history of
humans is not valuable anymore nowadays, I do not agree with this argument
because the past has an influence to the present in various points of views. This essay
will deliver the reason why I disagree and specify the reasons.
The memory of past time has value in that it
enhances the solution of mistakes. Human beings have has a tendency of behavior so that people
fail to similar things. For instance, South Korea failed to prevent MERS 5
years ago due to shortage of research institutions and support of government.
Through the failure, the government learned how to deal with global diseases
and decreased the number of victims when COVID19 arrived. (얼른 마스크 탈출하고 싶어요ㅠㅠ)
Moreover, national history as well as the
personal memory of past is also important. Childhood memories affects the effect to
future even if grown adults do not realize that it does cannot realized. For example, whenever I counsel
the people who have mental diseases, most of people them told me the childhood experiences
such as abuse, isolation in family. In many cases, there is old trauma that
conserved for 10~20 years. It is the reason why social workers and counselor
usually ask for the history of family.
Some people may argue that people should
to concentrate on the present instead of wasting to waste time staying in the past. However,
to live the present healthier and happier, the lesson of the past is needed as a
route finding solutions. In conclusion, the past has powerful effect on our
lives. Even though it is gone, the memory is the clue how to deal with the
present problems. (결론은 더 간추리는 게 좋습니다.)
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TA
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CC
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LR
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GRA
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Underlength
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No. of word
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Penalty
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Off-topic
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Memorised
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Illegible
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7/9.0
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7/9.0
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6/9.0
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6/9.0
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-
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258
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총평: 내용은 그럭저럭 괜찮았습니다. 그러나 이에 비해 표현상 오류는 꽤 있는 편이므로, 이쪽에 대한 주의가 필요하겠죠. 이전에 말씀드렸듯이 결국 안정적인 7점이 확보되기 위해서는 반드시 문법이 깔끔해야하므로, 문법 공부는 꾸준히 하고 계셔야 합니다. 저는 이번 글에 6.5를 드리긴 했지만, 채점관에 따라 6.0으로 내려갈 위험도 있으니 참고해주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)