In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Is it a positive or negative development?
These days, many people tend to go shopping in their extra time and the meaning of shopping is not only buying something but also enjoying one’s leisure time. In my opinion, shopping has more benefits than drawbacks. In this essay, the reasons of the fact that changing into entertainment form of shopping has positive sides will be elaborated. (이 문장은 의도하신 바에 대해 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.)
First of all, many people release their stress with through just walking around the shopping malls. This is because, these days, most shopping malls are called as multi cultural areas so that people can enjoy not only shopping but also eating and playing games at the shopping malls. Thus, the meaning of going shopping has been changed because of these reasons. As a result, people enjoy their cultural lives with shopping and deal with their stress at the shopping places.
Secondly, developing shops with other activities is also useful to companies. These entertainment facilities things promote the customers to buy things because it makes people feel comfortable and enjoyable. Therefore, many people spend their money to buy something even they do not need it. This strategy is practical because people cannot recognize that it is one of the plan of marketing. Many companies try to broaden their shops for places to play mini-games or hold events to grab the attention of the public so that directly lead to consumption by customers.
To sum up, the form of shopping as an entertainment has benefits both of the customers and companies. The public Public can enjoy the places and reduce their stress with the fun things and companies can also make a profit from the activities of grabbing the attention.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
이번 글 좋았습니다. 중간에 살짝 꼬인 문장이 있는 건 아쉬웠지만, 그래도 전반적으로 틀린 사항이 많지 않았기 때문에, 시간 문제만 없을 경우 task2에서 6.5는 충분히 보장되고, 7.0도 경우에 따라 괜찮을 겁니다. (task1은 별개입니다.)
반대로 밑의 글처럼 자잘한 사항들의 늘어날 경우 6.0까지 떨어질 거니까 주의해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)