Many women are in the workforce today, but only a few are in senior positions. what causes this phenomenon? suggest possible solutions that would resolve this issue.
It is true that although many women are in the workforce, It it is still hard for them to get a high position even in contemporary society. While this issue is a ridiculous problem, it It can be solved by making an advertisement with an example which will lead to a positive effect.
The core cause of this issue is that this fixed-idea came from their (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상이 대명사로 시작되어서는 안 됩니다.) parents in the past when the discrimination between a male and a female was maximized. Quintessentially, older people are in a higher position than younger people. Elder people still have a stabilized-mind, acting like they are still in the past even though they are living in modern society. For instance, a few decades ago, almost every male had prejudice in genders. They stated that women should do all the house chores and men could go out work and learn new things. This fixed-mind derives from their parents.
However, there are solutions to this problem. People can make an advertisement campaign with a great example of what women achieved and put it in the educational places and at the workplaces as well. If people make an advertisement, people will get to see the campaigns naturally. It will lead to change people’s minds by sharing and understanding other people’s ideas. Also, people will realize that what they have acted in such a wrong way. Such an optimal example of a person who achieved things can be Kang Kyung Hwa, the first foreign-minister in the south, Korea, South Korea became the top position with a gender of female few years ago. Even though she is aged now, she puts her efforts to the maximum and she represents that females can do it throughout hitherto accomplishments.
To summarize this issue briefly, It IT (이런 것만 안 틀리면 충분히 7점 가능합니다.) is evident that women have been discriminated against until now, and hard to get a high position. Nonetheless, this problem can be settled by advertising and publicizing individual ideas.
311자 입니다. 시험 이번주 목요일이에요ㅣ. 천천히 썻는데 35분 좀 안나온것같아요
후회를 좀 하자면 친구들은 한참 바쁠나이 18살에 학교안다닌다고 자신감 하나로 이주전에 접수해놓고 펑펑 놀다가 시험 5일전부터 정신차리고 첨삭이라도 받아봅니다 ㅜㅜ 사실 쓰기만 목표가 6.5에서 7이고 오버롤은 7.5 인데 불가능하겟죠 하하,,
총평: (7/7/7/7/) 7.0
task2를 이정도로 시간 내에 쓰실 수 있으면 충분히 6.5점은 물론 7점도 받으실 수 있습니다. (그 이상은 냉정히 말씀드리자면 조금) 어렵습니다...대신 실전에서 task1에 얼마나 발목을 잡히느냐에 따라 전반적인 점수가 결정되겠죠. (누구나 task1에서 발목은 다 잡힙니다. 대신 그 정도가 다를 뿐이죠.)
task2에서는 it을 대문자로 시작하는 것 등에만 주의해주시고, 내일이 시험이니까 자유게시판, 비법노트, 자료게시판에 가시면 제가 적어놓은 각종 팁들이 있습니다. (3페이지 정도까지는 가셔야할 거에요.) 꼭 다 한번씩 정독해주시고 내일 잘 반영해주시면, 충분히 라이팅에서는 점수 받을 수 있을 거에요~내일 시험 긴장하지 말고 잘 치르시고, 좋은 결과 기대하겠습니다 :)
+어린 나이에 꿈을 위해 열심히 하시는 모습 정말 보기 좋은 것 같습니다. 저도 응원할게요 :)