Recently, while having dwelled in the community of globalization, most people are interested in speaking the language of other countries because they want to travel or work in there. However, some people say that these are not the only reasons why people should learn a foreign language. Therefore, I would like to write about the disagreement with the statement above that these are the only reasons for learning another language.
When it comes to immigration for surviving, there is a mountain of people who want to escape their countries, in order to due to live like a normal person who has the basic right as a citizen. For example, In in North Korea, ten years ago, a man came across a boundary which is the border between South and North Korea even by taking a risk to die. Almost of them like this man just desired to survive in the lowest quality of life without standard of living. Hence, they have practiced to speak like a South Korean without an accent of North one. In my opinion, some people who are in need should get to have a chance to live with real freedom in other country with other mother tongue.
In terms of individual personalities, some people who are minorities of some social topics like a gay or a drug are unacceptable to live in a country which the government forbid anything what they are keen on. For instance, four years ago, I met a guy who was from China in Australia as a coworker. One day On someday, I found out from his confession that he is gay, and that was why he went to there from his own country because he cannot come out from there. Besides, he said that situation made him study English to pursue his personality. Personally, I think that our government has to accept some ways from other countries not to ignore people who are behind the scene. (제언은 논제에서 요구된 바가 없습니다.)
In conclusion, although traveling and working both are the one of the main reasons why people are interested in significantly, we cannot take the toll of some people who have other reasons to learn a foreign language.
총평: (5/7/7/7) 6.5
lukas님의 경우 task2에서는 다른 거 다 필요 없고 요령만 익혀주시면 됩니다. 영어 자체는 충분히 잘 하시는 상황이기 때문이죠. 실제로 이번 글도 빨간 부분이 거의 없는 것을 통해 확인할 수 있듯이, 표현상 문제는 많지 않았어요.
이전에도 말씀드렸듯이, discuss both views라고 논제에서 명시했으면, 말 그대로 두 본론에 각각의 입장을 다뤄주시면 됩니다. 고로 현재의 본론1에는 여행/공부가 들어가야 하는데, 지금 본론1은 이와 거리가 멀죠. (참고로, 탈북과 여행은 전혀 다른 사항입니다.)
또한 논제에서 전혀 요구된 바가 없는 제언 등을 하는 것도 월권행위이기 때문에, 철저히 시킨 것에만 집중해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)