곧 시험이라 긴장되네요ㅜㅜ
늘 감사합니다!
The population of most cities is growing
as people moved to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems
does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?
In these days, as an increasing
number of people move to the city in order to find a job or new opportunities, most
cities are experiencing overpopulation. While this brings about traffic congestion
and shortage of (이게 문어체에 더 가깝다고 보시면 됩니다.) housing shortage, there are also a number of solutions to tackle these problems.
In terms of the problems in relation
to overpopulation, the first one is increase of traffic congestion. The urban people
tend to prefer riding a car to using public transportation because of good paved
roads and convenient traffic system. Therefore, most cities are already suffering
from the over-congestion on the roads, and this problem will deteriorate shortly
due to the current overpopulated situation. In addition, Another another (이거 하나 가지고 엄청난 감점이 있는 건 아니지만, 그래도 펭수님처럼 상위권 학생들의 경우는 잘 체크해주시는 게 좋습니다.) problem of overpopulation
is about housing. While the number of city residents is rapidly increasing, the
housing capacity of the area is limited. As a result, a shortage of housing becomes
one of the most urgent issues in cities due to overpopulation.
There are two major solutions
for the government in dealing with these problems caused by overpopulation. Firstly,
traffic congestion in a city can be eased by encouraging people to use less cars
and more public transportation. If the government impose traffic congestion charges
in during the rush hour or heavier fees on parking cars, more people will use buses or underground
instead of riding their own cars. Secondly, introducing regulation policy for multi-house
owners can prevent the problem of housing shortage. Owing to some rich people who
have many houses not for living but only for investment, housing problem become more
serious. (이 친구는 본론1에 들어가야 할 사항입니다. 이를 대신해서 해결책 관련 내용을 한 줄이라도 더 적거나 해주세요~) Therefore, taxation on owning two or more houses in a city can help to
prevent this problem.
In conclusion, there can be traffic
and housing problems in relation to overpopulation of most cities. However, this
can be solved through the government’s relevant policy and constant endeavour.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
글은 잘 써주셨습니다. 자잘한 사항들 빼고는 크게 문제가 없었으므로 여기서는 걱정은 없을 거에요.
잠시 다른 부분에 대한 말씀을 드리자면, 곧 시험이라고 하셨는데 사실 펭수님 실력이면 적어도 task2에서는 시간 문제만 없다면(시간이 모자라서 미완성으로 제출하거나 허겁지겁 마무리해서 제출하는 등) 7.0은 95%, 6.5는 200%로 받으십니다. 고로 걱정하실 건 없고, 시험 전까지는 최대한 실전 적응 연습만 해주시면 돼요. (대신 다른 학생들과 마찬가지로 Task1은 늘 변수이죠.)
수고하셨습니다 :)