Question: Some people think that national sports teams and athletes should receive financial support from the government. Others feel that the financial support should come from private donors such as corporations. Discuss both of these points of view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many peple believe that the government should financially support national sports teams and athletes because they represent the country. However, there is a more persuasive argument that national sports athletes should be financially supported (바로 앞에 있는 표현이니까 대체해주시는 게 좋습니다.) by private donors like corporations for several reasons.
On one hand, many national sports teams and athletes represent and promote the country worldwide in many international sports competitions such as the Olympics. Thus some people argue that the government should give a reward and a steady support to them in order to improve for improving the image of the country because they are worth getting the financial support. For example, a lot of people said Kim Yuna, famous for figure skating, should be more financially supported by the government due to her contribution to the country. Many foreigners get to know Korea thanks to her.
Nevertheless, national sports teams and athletes should get financial support from private donors, not from the government. Tax must be spent in sectors which is useful for people all over the country, but sports is not an essential sector to be supported financially by tax because there are many people who are not interested in sports. In addition, giving financial support (전반적으로 너무 많이 쓰이고 있는 표현이라 조치가 필요해요.) to national sports teams and athletes is beneficial for private corporations. The reason is that they can promote their brand names. For example, the names of most sports teams stem from the corporations' names like all Korean baseball teams. It makes people who like the sports naturally get to know their brand names, leading to consuming their products and generating profits for the corporations.
To sum up, there are some reasons why the government should support national sports atheletes, but financial support from private donors is better because tax must be spent in other appropriate sectors, while and more financial profits can be generated private investment.
항상 감사드립니다! 비밀번호는 1234 입니다.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
자잘한 오류 몇 개를 제외하면 아주 잘 적어주셨습니다. 이정도면 못해도 7.0이고, 채점관에 따라 7.5까지는 괜찮을 거에요. (물론 task1까지 고려하면 총점은 7.0일 확률이 더 높긴 하겠지만요.)
financial support 관련해서만 따로 조치를 취해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)