Some
people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this
money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
It
has been observed that some people believe that the government should invest money
to other parts except for arts by priority. I strongly agree with this opinion.
This is mainly because thearts are it is subordinate when compared to the importance of like
education, medical treatment, sanitation and welfare. To be specific, the
consequence of its investment is indirect with the quality of life. For
instance, the supports for some hospitals could be more useful than arts. (시간 여유가 되면 여기서 반 줄 정도의 부연설명이 들어가면 좋습니다.)
총 글자수:74자
총 소요시간:5분
총평: 아이엘츠랑 달리 여기서는 시간 여유가 없기 때문에, 서론을 아예 I strongly believe that the government should invest money to~~로 가는 게 좋습니다. 이럴 경우 앞의 불필요한 it has been~부분을 줄이는대신 본론에 더 투자할 수 있게 되죠.
수고하셨습니다 :)