목표: 5.5 이상
시간이 가는줄 모르고 안일하게 있다가, 시험이 당장 2주 뒤로 닥쳐서 급하게 벼락치기 중입니다. ㅠㅠ
5.5 이상은 꼭 받아야하는데 첨삭 및 채점 부탁드립니다! 감사합니다!!
The
line graph gives information about the proportions of oil usage in four
different countries (Iceland, Sweden, Italy, and Turkey) from 1966 to 2006 as a
rate of each country’s total energy consumption.
Overall,
it is clear that the percentage of oil usage in Turkey increased significantly
over the period given. Meanwhile, the proportion of Italy was remained
relatively stable, while both Sweden and Iceland’s figure were dropped dramatically.
The
percentage of oil usage in Turkey started at around 60 percent in 1966 and then
continuously rose. It then reached nearly 90 percent which was the highest figure in
2006. In contrast, the rates of Sweden and Iceland began at 80 percent and 70
percent respectively. Both figures were almost halved by 1986 and then hit the
low in the last year.
The percentage of Italy began at just over 90 percent in the first year and then slightly fluctuated between about 85 percent and 95 percent. Italy had accounted for the highest proportion of oil usage from 1966 to 1996, however, this was replaced by Turkey in the last year. (지금 사실 문장 구조가 다소 제한적인 감은 있지만, 이는 7점 이상에서나 중요한 사항입니다. 그냥 참고만 해두세요~굳이 고칠 필요는 없습니다.)
178단어 / 20분
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
어제와 마찬가지로 5.5는 당연히 넘기는 글이므로 크게 걱정하실 건 없습니다.
꺾은선 그래프에서는 수치 간 역전을 다루는 게 중요한데, 지금의 경우 표에서 총 3번의 역전이 있습니다. 이 중 1~2번 가량은 언급해주시면 글에 살이 붙을 수 있을 거지만....................사실 이거 역시 5.5에서 전혀 중요한 사항은 아닙니다. 그냥 알아만 두세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)