Your Answer ▼
In this present age, an argument about the value of extended family has sparked much debate. Some people arrert that extended family type is not important anymore, whereas other people argue that it is still beneficial to family members. Personally, I am in favor of the first view.
To begin with, as society grows bigger and bigger, facilities which are is imperative in our daily lives have been scattered to many places within the whole country. Therefore living family members living together in one place is not realistic. For example, workplaces like factories, education infra such as universities and hospitals are located in a variety of different places. Thus, in this condition, each family members should decide where to live on there personal situations, in accordance with individual life plans.
Moreover, advanced IT devices now help them to connect other family members even in a far distance. It enables family members to communicate each other very effectively. In other words, physical distances is not a problem at all. For instance, yougn family members living in many seperate places can keep a strong emotianal attachment between their parents if they reguraly uses IT services like Facebook, Zoom.
Admittedly, if family members live altogether, they can get help other members easily. But today many lavor-based services are now provided socially. Take an example of infants education system. In the past, parents should look after their children within extended family, but now it is common for regional goverment or companies to run daycare facilities. (얘네는 다시 써주셔야 하는데, 이에 대해서는 밑에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
In conclusion, in these days facilities which are is crucial to each members' life-cycle are already scattered in the whole country, and family attachments can be still alive thanks to IT devices. Therefore keeping an extended family type is not so important as before.
안녕하세요. 48분 13초, 288단어입니다.
초안 작성 후 수정하는 데 10분이 넘게 추가 소요되었습니다. 이게 큰 문제 같네요.
오히려 수정하면서 시간이 많이 초과되어 점수에 더 마이너스 같기도 합니다.
코멘트 해 주시면 감사하겠습니다. 항상 감사합니다.
참고로 연습 때에도, 시험에서도 순서는 태스크2 작성-1 작성-2 검토-1 검토로 하시면 됩니다.
|