▶ Your Answer : There is a widespread belief that a foreign language should be studied early at primary school as the modern society has become increasingly globalised. In this essay, my stance regarding pros outweighing cons of this phenomenon will be posed with some applicable supports. <(In this essay~ 라는 표현 보다는 그저 글쓴이의 주장을 써주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다) To begin with, there are some who contend that it is not worthwhile to learn a foreign languages at a young age. The main reason is that children should pay attention to study something else, not a foreign language. Regardless of foreign languages, there are a number of subjects which are mathematics, science, and even own language, to study at that time. In terms of their own language, schools have responsibility to teach children about their language first, based on their history and culture. In addition, the majority of children will not use foreign languages in global companies. The simple foreign words which are used in daily situations can be taught in secondary school which is not late. <(there are some who contend~ 라는 문구는 글쓴이의 의견이 아닌 다른 사람들을 의견을 전달 해주시게 됩니다. 글쓴이의 의견을 묻는 질문에는 다른 사람의 의견을 전달해주시는 것은 최대한 피하셔야합니다. 다른 사람들의 의견을 전달해주시면 그 내용을 반박해야합니다) Be that as it may, myself included, children's early learning about a foreign language would base grounding on several facts. As the first, as the contemporary world turns broad and globalised, it is a necessity to acquire foreign languages. From the societal perspective, children need to speak or read in another language to properly adapt to their future society. In other words, in the coming future, if they are would be employed for a big company, many documents written in other languages will be given to them. Secondly, the younger students are, they are open-minded to learn something new. For this reason, primary school is more suitable to study other languages. To be specific, children can learn a foreign language like their mother tongue with some entertainments such as songs, chants, and role games, when they are pure enough to take something. To recapitulate, taking into account both sets of argument, I am of the belief that there are many benefits to learn foreign languages earlier in the global world, outweighing demerits, but children also should not miss to acquire other basic subjects.
Score: 7 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 주로 글 안에 있는 수정이나 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 전체적으로 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |