Your Answer ▼
Although human beings have achieved significant progress in our lives with scientific developments, there is still one thing that humans could not and probably will never be able to stop, which is ‘Aging.’ A fair number of people assert that aging only has adverse effects to our lives whereas some people still believe that aging is something beautiful that we all need to embrace affirmatively. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide my opinion as to why people should not be afraid of getting old as much as it used to be. In the first place, aging is not a simple natural phenomenon, but rather a disease. Even though we have made many developments in science or technology, human beings cannot stop the time that inevitably must influence our bodies. As getting older, people are physically getting (바로 앞에 있으니까 가급적이면 대체해주세요!) weaker and more vulnerable to numerous diseases and hazards. For example, people will encounter vision and hearing loss at any time and notice that their body is deteriorating. Regardless of technological advances, no one can beat against time. On the flip side, people should try to face aging bravely. Compared to the past, the average life expectancy has enormously increased due to scientific development, which affected the entire society to focus more on the happy elderly life. The government has been releasing many policies for aged people in ways of providing either more occupational positions or pension so that elderly people can prepare for their much longer lives. In fact, (In fact의 경우 앞에 오는 내용을 더 보완해서 설명할 때 쓰이는 반면, 현재 이 표현 이후에 나오는 사항은 앞의 내용과는 아예 성격이 다르기 때문에 in fact는 적절하지 않습니다.) scientific technology has made it possible for people to maintain a young DNA, so people nowadays are have much healthier and younger than the actual age. It became entirely impossible to judge people by their age, unlike in the past. In light of the above factors, humans cannot avoid or stop time, however, there are undoubtedly positive ways to meet the time through the endeavor of individuals and support from the government; we should be grateful for living longer and enjoy today as it is the youngest moment of our lives.
(340 words)
걸린시간 : 42분 목표점수 : 7.0 으으으으으으으으 너무 어려웠어요ㅠㅠ |