▶ Your Answer :
Nowadays, it is common to
see that the income gaps are getting wider. This could be due to the various
reasons, but this will cause a definite problem to a society. Poor people may
not be able to get health checks and educations, while rich people get all the
benefits. This issue can be solved by the government, the rich and the society
because each of them can take responsibility. In This essay will discuss the
possible problems caused by the widen income gaps, and discuss the appropriate
solutions for this issue.
Since the income gap
becomes wider, the middle level of income class will disappear. This means
that, the national's income will also disappear because, middle income classed people are
the main income sources in the a form of tax. If there is no money gathered by
middle income people, it means there will be no government expenditure to be spent
on poor people for benefits. In this case, the government may withdraw all the
benefits which had been imposed on poor people, such as educational benefits and
health benefits, in order to save their expenditures. This is means that poor
people will not get the protection from the government, and they have to pay for
all services such as health, medicine and tuitions. However, because they do
not have enough money to pay for such a service, they may not be able to get
the appropriate services for medicine and education. This could increase the
risk of further diseases. The diseases could lead to other fatal diseases by
having the diseases within people's body.
This issues could be
solved by the government, the society and the riches, because they can solve
this issue by improving poor people's living standard by responsible for their
own duties. To start with, the government could impose a regulation to the
companies, forcing them to hire poor people or people suffering from poverty. If
the poor people have a regular income, they could use on their benefits <(unclear). Also,
the society can provide the financing education lessons to the poor people., so
that, poor people would manage their income and spend the money wisely. <Need better cohesion> Another
reason that poor people never get out of poverty could be the impulsive and
addictive spending habits. So if the society and the local communities provide
the financing education to poor people, the poor people could acquire knowledge
on savings. Furthermore, the rich people could donate to the local communities so
that the local communities can use this money to improve poor people's living
standards. By imposing tax benefits to rich people in the case of donation to
poor, can encourage the donation from rich people. If the rich people get the
tax benefits when they donate to the poor, the poor people's living standards can
improve drastically. Therefore, the issues raised by income gaps can be solved
by each of responsibility burden by the rich, society and the government. <(위 문단에 써주신 문제들과 조금 더 연결을 시켜주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.)
Score: 6 Comment: 질문에 대한 답은 좋다고 생각합니다. 다만 summarize을 더 해주시고 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 conclusion을 써주시지 않았습니다. 모든 에세이에는 꼭 conclusion을 써주셔야합니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |