It is often said that these days people can choose easily
because of less choices. I will clearly show why I strongly disagree (이거 틀리면 진짜 큰일납니다. july님이 유일하게 5점대로 내려갈 위험이 있는 경우의 수라고 보시면 돼요.) with the
statement since I believe that nowadays people have lots of choices. (여기의 경우 논제의 Too를 고려했을 때 훨씬 더 부정적인 뉘앙스로 작성해주셔야 합니다. 예를 들면 nowadays people have too much to choose from~이런 식으로요.)
To begin with, there are a couple of main arguments that
people have a lot of choices these days. First and foremost, rapid social
development and modernization are causing of the a huge variety information on
the internet (인터넷은 고유명사이므로 그냥 이유불문 대문자 시작한다고 보시면 됩니다. 1%의 확률로 예외가 있긴 하지만, 거기까지 들어가실 필요는 없어요. 다른데에도 다 바꿔주세요!). To be specific, people have to spend lots of time to search
information. This is because there are overwhelming data on the internet, so
people have to spend their time and energy to find correct information. Also,
some children often learn how to choose information on the internet in their
school. It is because they did not have a sufficient opportunity for searching
on the internet.
In addition, nowadays people have a lot of choices in their
ordinary daily routine. This is due to the fact that huge number of companies are competing against company
competitive each other. Therefore, they make some products which are low prices
and quality of goods. To illustrate, there are a huge number of products in the
market. People have to find low prices and good qualities among the lots of
products. In fact, this will make them to stressed out. Consequently, the life
quality of citizens can decrease because people have to compare their products
and they do not have a time to do other things, such as washing dishes, cleaning
the rooms, and studying their subjects.
In conclusion, even though some people argued that people
have less choices compared to the past, it is clear that these days people have
to choose lots of information in their life. Hence, most people have to spend
more time and effort to choose right decision, and this causes them to be stressed them out.
303 word 6점 목표입니다
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
이정도면 충분히 6점은 받으십니다만, 대신 서론의 'dis' 관련해서 실수하지 않도록 주의해주세요! 지금이야 다른 부분들이 괜찮았기에 망정이지, 다른 부분에서도 문제가 있는 상황에서 저기마저 오류가 났다면 5점대로 떨어질 수도 있습니다. 이전에도 비슷한 실수를 하신 걸로 기억하는데, 다음에는 꼭 체크해주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)