Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while other believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
In modern society, it has been one of the heated discussions as to whether students should (이거 안 들어가면 의미가 완전히 달라지므로 주의해주세요~점수에도 생각보다 타격이 큽니다.) study in a group or alone. Some people think that studying in a group is more effective while others say it is better to study alone. I think studying together has more benefits as students can learn various views from others. In this essay, the reasons of each opinions will be elaborated.
On the one hand, studying alone can make students focus more intensively. In Korea, there are many study rooms where students can study in private rooms or spaces so that they can concentrate to their own studying (study에 대한 직접적인 동의어는 없습니다. 그러나 여기의 경우 문맥상 homework, work 등으로 충분히 대체가 가능하니까, 이런 식으로반복되는 표현을 해결할 수 있어야 해요.) and not to be disturbed by others. As a result, many people were satisfied in this way to improve their academic skills. This is because individuals can control their own pace and routines and do not have to care of other students. Everyone has their own ways to accumulate knowledge. For these reasons, studying alone has some advantages.
On the other hand, studying with others has benefits that can pupils can interact with each other and get different opinions of the same matters as well as improve communication skills. Most countries encourage students to study together because students can have broadened perspectives via discussions with other students. Communication skill is one of the important parts of society so children can get these substantial skills naturally. In addition, through interacting each others, learners can be taught how to accept and discuss others’ opinions. Since people can get not only the knowledge but also skills to communicate, studying in a group is more effective.
To sum up, both of the opinions have several advantages respectively. However, I think that studying together is a more effective way in learning which can increase communication skills and gives a chance to interact with each others.
총평: (6/7/6/6) 6.5
큼지막한 오류는 없었기 때문에 이정도면 그럭저럭 괜찮은 점수가 가능할 겁니다. 대신 아직 표현상의 다채로움이 완벽하게 확보된 것은 아니므로 이에 대한 해결은 필요하겠고요. 특히, 굳이 동의어를 쓰지 않더라도 제가 위에 표시해드린 것과 같이 문맥상 의미가 통하는 단어를 잘 찾는 것도 중요합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)