task2 첨삭 부탁드려요.
목표는 7점이고 12월 중으로 시험볼예정입니다.
처음에 썼다가 너무 말도안되고 작성도 안 되어서 한번 다시썼습니다. 그대신 어떻게 쓸지 생각한 시간을 5분정도 빼서 35분동안 썼습니다.
250자입니다.
감사합니다.
Communication and transportation are industries that have been developed the most for several decades. It has made people connect and move to others easier and it eventually has led a phenomenon known as globalization. As an increase of connection, people are able to accept others’ life styles more and more. For example, many eastern countries adopt western countries’ life patterns such as a working, living, culture and much more.
On the other hand, these countries are gradually losing their tradition due to rapid acceptance of other countries. In Korea, for example, many Koreans accept western style music and many of them listen to several genres originated from western. Rock, ballad and dance music are domain music in Korea. Whereas, many young Korean do not pay attention to their traditional music such as Pansori. Only a few people study and succeed to these music. If the people keep off these music, they would meet their traditions only Internet or TV. Within a few decades, these music will replace the traditional’s ultimately.
Moreover, people lose many traditions apart from the music by development of technologies. The development of transportation, people willingly go to abroad to experience exotic cultures nowadays. They tend to consider traditional cultures as old and boring. The easier move to other cities or nations, the less people would enjoy traditions.
To summarize, the globalization is proceeding rapidly and humans will be connected to each other perfectly someday. Eventually, it will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identities.