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<Topic> The graph gives
information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the
present, with projections to 2010. |
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The supplied
line chart delineates the information about Australians in different age groups
who go to the movies at least once a year in percentage from 1990 to 2010. It can be
generally witnessed that the youngest group of people go to the cinema the
most compared to other age groups and the graph of the oldest counterpart attended
cinema is the lowest. The two middle-age groups show fluctuations throughout
the given span in the figure. (시간이 부족했다면 이 문장의 경우 쳐내셔도 됩니다. 분석으로써 그렇게 중요한 가치를 갖지는 않아요.) Of the youngest
Australian groups, the figure plots around 90% despite a slight slump in 1992,
and hit the summit in 1996; about 95%. On the contrary, that of over 50 years
old initially shows 40%, it gradually escalated by 10% points in 1994, to around 55%
in 1998, and dropped to 50% in 2000. The youngest group’s graph is forecast
to grow to nearly 98% in 2010, whereas that of the oldest is expected to be half
less than that of the youngest. Considering
the middle age groups, both figures stood at 60% in the beginning. Although 25-34
year |
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[ 256 words] |
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Grammar |
Vocabulary |
Cohesion and Coherence |
Task Response |
7/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
7/9.0 |
감사합니다.
총평: 퍼센트포인트 정도를 빼면 절대적으로 틀린 건 거의 없긴 한데, 위에 말씀드렸듯이 문장 구조 자체가 (꽁치님의 실력에 비해) 그렇게 다채로운 상황은 아니었습니다. 이에 대해서만 '여건이 되면' 패러프레이징을 해보세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)