The maps compare figures changes of the Grange Park between the 1920 and today.
Overall, it is clear that the park has been refurbished the whole area from 1920 to the current day except but for a rose garden located left top of the park. The Fountain fountain located in the center of the park has been (여기 포함 시제는 싹 다 현재완료로 바꿔주시면 됩니다. 지금처럼 시간상 뒤따르는 지도가 현재 시점인 경우 현재완료로 써주시면 돼요.) was replaced by the rose Rose garden, surrounded by seats. There were two more rose gardens at the east southern and west northern (동서남북의 활용은, 원칙적으로 표시가 주어져있는 경우에만 가능합니다.) corners respectively in 1920, both of them were eliminated. Instead, The a cafe has been built at the top of the park today where the rose garden originally was.
Today, the park now offers a space for children that did not exist in the year of 1920 that children can play at the children Children’s play area, placed next to the cafe. Below this area, the water feature has been located after removing the glasshouse. At the same time, the pictures show another prominent transition which can be seen at the left side of the park is that the stage for musicians has been converted into an amphiteatre the Amphitheatre for concerts.
As can be seen from the illustrations above, most features of the garden have been changed, however the tourists still enter the garden through the same entrances.
늘 감사합니다!
총평: (6/6/7/5) 6.0
원래 정또자님 실력이면 절대 문법이 5점으로 내려가지는 않을 겁니다. 아마 제가 문법에서 5점을 드리는 건 이번 글이 마지막일 것이고요. 이번 글에서 문제가 되었던 대소문자와 시제에는 주의해주세요!
또한, 문단 구조를 다시 잡아주셔야 합니다. 지금 두 번째 문단에서 Overall~이라는 단어 아래 따라오는 내용은 Overview가 아니라 그냥 세부 분석입니다. 오히려 맨 마지막에 지워진 문단이 Overview에 가깝죠. 쟤를 서론 밑으로 올려주시고, 현재 Overall~로 시작하는 내용은 Overall로 시작하지 않으시면 됩니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)