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감사합니다
(글 비밀번호는 1234 입니다.)
-> 안녕하세요~~이렇게 올리셔도 무방합니다!
비밀번호는 따로 안 알려주셔도 돼요 :)
질문: Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits.
Discuss both side and give your opinion.
답: Owing to threatened local culture, it is considered by some people that tourism should be banned in some areas while there are others who say that changes and developments are inevitable. In this essay, I would like to examine both views and demonstrate my own opinion.
On the one hand, some people say the government
should restrict tour areas because tourists and tourism often have a bad impact
on local culture due to their careless attitude. In other words, they
tend to think local regions as a theme park and only care about their experience
and memories without respect. Due to this tendency, a local society in
many countries suffer from environmental problems and damage of their unique
culture.
On the other hand, there are other people who say every local society should embrace the changes and readjust to
them because developments are inevitable especially in these fast-changing
days. Therefore, at this point of view, restricting tourism is a meaningless measure which wastes time and delays developments are
meaningless measure wasting time and delaying developments.
Lastly, in my opinion, I believe banning
the area is not the best solution to this issue because some people in these
regions are make a living by tourism products. Instead of banning the area, the government
should control the number of tourists in the area and apply more strict rules
and fines for careless behavior.
Government should consider both
aspects and find better a solution to deal with the issue.
총평: (6/6/6/7) 6.5
내용이 그렇게까지 풍부한 상황은 아니지만, 그래도 표현(어휘+문법)이 그럭저럭 괜찮았기 때문에 최소한의 점수는 벌어갔다고 보시면 되겠습니다. 대신 지금처럼 discuss both opinions 유형을 작성할 때에는, 결론과 내 의견을 합쳐서 하나의 문단으로 간추려주시고, 본론 두 개의 문단도 조금 더 보완하도록 신경써주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)