Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days.
Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.
Nowadays, many experts have become concerned because a lot of children are suffering from poverty which has been a continuous problem globally. In response to this problem (바로 앞에 있는 단어이므로 가급적이면 대체해주세요!), there are several solutions which start from individuals and the government.
Firstly, poverty causes negative effects on children’s health and environment. (여기서 엔터 치지 않습니다. 이것도 다 점수에 들어가는 사항이므로 주의해주세요!)
The majority of children in poverty have has problems to their physical growth as they cannot have sufficient nutrition. Despite of their poor health, they have to work in dangerous conditions to be helpful to their family living. For instance, although the children have only a little of cheap food, they work in a factory or even on the road where protection from a society has not been reached. It clearly illustrates that poverty puts many children in a threatening environment.
To fix this problem, there are some solutions which individuals should take part in. First of all, people need to pay attention to and participate on the donation for the kids in poverty. Also, the non-profit companies for donation have to encourage people to give children an economical help. For example, the companies should show the public how their donations improve the kids’ environment by managing companies’ finance transparently. In addition, government should restrict children from the exposure of danger by legal actions such as making zones prohibited to kids under a certain age.
To summarize, even though the negative affect that poverty causes to children is a serious problem, it is clear that much is being done to fix the issue. If individuals and the government work together, this problem will soon stay only in the past.
첨삭감사합니다!
총평: (7/7/6/7) 7.0
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