The line graph illustrates information
concerning the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish pupils who enrolled at Sheffield
university between 2005 and 2009. Overall, it is notable that enrolments of Iranian
and Turkish students at the university increased gradually throughout the
period while the number of Greek pupils showed an abrupt decrease during the
period (앞에 있기 때문에 생략하셔도 됩니다.).
One of the first things to note is that
and
an overwhelming number of Greek students enrolled at the university at the beginning
of the period. The figure was approximately 180. In contrast, the figures of Iranian
and Turkish student who entered the university were about 40 and 20,
respectively. Between 2005 and 2006, the number of Iranian and Turkish students
increased gradually at about the same rate while registration of Greek students
showed a slight decrease.but then, and this figure afterwards stabilized at around 70 until 2008. On the other hand, the number of Iranian
and Turkish students increased steadily. These figures went beyond Greek
students’ figure for the first time in 2007. At the end of the period, the
figures (너무 많이 쓰이고 있습니다.) of Iranian and Turkish students who enrolled at the university were 160
and 122, respectively.
220
1. 6.5 점이 목표입니다
2. 220자입니다 10월 10일날 시험입니다. 11월 까지는 만들고 싶습니다.
3. task1 2 60분 타이머재고 풀었습니다. 59분 30초정도 걸린거 같습니다.
* 저는 task1이 더어려운거 같네요 ㅋㅋㅋ 첨삭 해주셔서 감사합니다!
모든 학생들이 다 Task1을 더 못쓰기 때문에 걱정하지 않으셔도 됩니다! task1은 1. 자기는 잘 썼다고 생각하는데 못쓴 학생이랑, 2. 못썼다고 생각했고 실제로도 못쓴 학생으로만 나뉘어요.
양산님 정도면 그래도 그 중에서 꽤 잘 쓰시는 편입니다~
총평: figure라는 단어, 그리고 이를 위주로 한 the ~ of ~의 구조가 너무 잦게 사용되는 점은 아쉽지만, 이전에도 말씀드렸듯이 이는 7점 이상에서나의 사항입니다. 6.5에서 신경쓰실 건 없으므로 그냥 참고만 해두세요~저도 제목을 ~해주세요가 아닌, ~하면 좋습니다로 달았습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)