It is a common belief that there are many lie fake information and leak individual privacy (여기는 어떤 의미로 적어주셨나요? 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다. 초록색은 싹 다 댓글 주시면 돼요.). However, there is a more persuasive argument that people can get touch with various information more easily because widespread of smart devices near by people.
On the one hand, many bad hackers take someone's private privacy information and threat with that. They usually send a link by messages like victims' acquaintance such as family or close friends. When victims enter that link, their information or money will be leaked to hackers. This is because hackers abuse bond of victims with acquaintance. For example, interview of victim, a woman get message from who said personally bank manager, and she send her bank account password. However that was fake message by hacker and she lost not only her money but also her private privacy information.
Nevertheless, people can approach current information easily and rapidly by their smart devices. People can get data about the weather and current events. It makes people can prevent and change their choices enables people to easily make and change decisions. This is because many social network services offer a lot Due to, many social network services offer a number of data on the internet (인터넷은 고유명사이므로, 대문자 시작입니다.). When connect with internet, anyone can access to internet who have devices. For instance, in Japan, there are frequent earthquake. So, a developer made an inventor make a application which can predict earthquakes date and magnitude of earthquake. It makes people can get warn on that foreseen days.
To sum up, there are some disadvantages like outflow or leaking people's information or money, it is evident that some services help to prevent from danger.
총평: (5/5/5/4) 5.0
야하롱님의 경우 문법이 너무 약합니다. 5.5점 이상이 무조건 필요하신 상황이면, 냉정히 말씀드렸을 때 첨삭을 받는 것 이전에 문법 공부를 빡세게 해서 지금보다 나아지게 해주셔야 해요. 그래야 첨삭 받는 것도 어느정도 의미가 생깁니다. 단, 5점 이하로만 받으셔도 괜찮으면 문법 공부가 필수는 아니고요.
수고하셨습니다 :)