Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
As With the growth of economy, the governments get more money from the tax. Some of it, some of which is used on transportation like railways and roads. Some people think that governments should spend money on railways rather than roads, and I personally agree with it.
One of the reasons that I believe it is better agree to spend more money on railways is that there are enough roads that are already made. From the moments that a car was is invented and became becomes popular for use to people, the roads have been made constantly. It can be proved by the map that shows lots of roads that connect all cities and towns in the country. Therefore, there is no need to spend a large amount of money to the roads developments.
Another reason is that spending money on railways can encourage transportation of both people and product. There is a limit to move far away with a bus or a, truck or vehicle. Especially the bus, the a routine is formed and it requires people who move far away have to transfer one to another. Also, it takes more time to move than the train. Nevertheless, railways are not developed as much as the roads. To create new railways, it requires lots of money. (이 친구의 경우 단점에 속하기 때문에 넣지 않는 게 맞습니다. 이를 통해 경제 발젼 뭐뭐뭐~~이렇게 이으면 모를까, 이 문장 자체로는 오히려 흐름에 방해만 돼요.) Moreover, it also encourage the growth of trade because the time that takes to move product will decrease.
In conclusion, I agree that governments should spend money on railways rather than roads because there are is enough roads that are is already made from a long time ago. Also, the railways have to be developed more for transportation of both people and product.
6.5에서 7점을 목표로 하고 있습니다.
매번 첨삭 정말 감사합니다. 독학하고 있는 저에게 많은 도움이 됩니다 :)
총평: (6/7/6/6) 6.5
이번 글도 6.5이긴 하지만, 되게 아슬아슬한 6.5이기 때문에 사실상은 6.0으로 보시는 게 나을 수도 있습니다. 내용 자체는 중간에 뜬금없는 문장이 하나 들어간 거 빼고는 괜찮긴 했는데, 저 뜬금없는 문장이 주는 타격이 작지는 않기 때문에 이와 관련해서만 조금 주의해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)