*감사합니다 선생님 :-) 아직 많이 부족하고 자신감이 없지만요.. 계속 쓰다보면 좀 더 매끄러운 라이팅이 되겠죠? ㅎㅎ
당연하죠! 그리고 라이팅 스피킹, 특히 스피킹은 자신감이 반입니다.
*목표점수 : 6.5
*시험날짜 : 10월 25일 (처음)
Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life.
Discuss both the views and give your opinion. (5/10)
There is a debate about the possibility of spending free-time with co-workers, because some people say it is okay to have a fun time with their colleagues, while others believe using their time to be private only would better rather than with colleagues. Although, enjoying time with friends from company can be good options, I still believe separation from their work life is preferable.
Generally speaking, some people have many reasons to believe that having a leisure time with co-workers has numerous benefits. First and foremost, individuals can share their moments of work life freely because their co-workers know about it well and understand what situation it is related to. In particular, spending fun-time with colleagues makes can build up good relationship with them, as a result, that makes work efficiency and a synergy effect at work. Not just that but also, they can motivate one another at having a leisure time as they can cheer him or her up when someone is having a hard time. Last but not the least, workers can expand their relationship and broaden their horizons through getting along with co-workers. (참고로 6.5에서 그렇게 중요한 건 아니지만, 가급적이면 지금처럼 여러 개를 짧게 쓰기보다는 한 개, 두 개를 상세하게 쓰는 게 좋습니다.)
On the other hand, I am of the opinion that keeping personal life from company is more indispensable because this world follows work and life balance. As a matter of fact, some people do not like to be bothered by their company after business time because they regard private life as important. In conjunction, separating their life from work can make them focus on close friends and family as spending more precious time with them. In the long run, by as having time privately, they can fully recharge their batteries by at reading, taking a nap, writing on their diary at home, and as a result, it brings best condition at work. To illustrate, Koreans, (쉼표가 불필요하게 남발되지 않도록 주의해주세요!) these days, tend to turn off the chatting room of their company on messenger considering that they seem not to want to be disturbed at their work life.
In conclusion, while spending leisure time with co-workers is allowable, in my opinion, keeping one’s free time from company is likes better.
총평: (7/7/7/6) 7.0
위에서도 말씀드렸듯이 행복하자님은 자신감 갖고 쓰셔도 됩니다. 솔직히 task1때문에 총합 7.0이 나오기에는 조금 어려울 수는 있어도, 6.5는 충분히 받고도 남으시니까 걱정 마세요~이정도의 글을 40분 내에만 퀄리티를 유지한채로 쓰는 연습만 해주시면 충분합니다. 대신 그렇다고 해서 자만해서는 안 되고, 감을 잊지 않도록 꾸준한 연습과 첨삭은 필요하겠죠.
수고하셨습니다 :)