▶ Your Answer :
Since the
development of technologies, travel/traveling has become is becoming easier. <Need better coherence> The number of
travellers is increasing every year due to the globalisation. This essay will
discuss the main reasons for this increase and the advantages of travelling.
Due to the
globalisation, people travel for different reasons. Employees of multinational
corporations travel for business purposes whereas students travel to have a
better education. Some people travel for entertainment purposes. Because people
gain a significant amount of alot of practical experiences from traveling, the travel demand is increasing
every year. Whatever those reasons are, the primary reason for increment of travelling demand is the cheaper
costs. Thanks to the recent technological inventions such as airplanes and
Eurostar, people can be able to travel other countries in a short time for a short hour. A competitive
market creates cheap travel tickets and which increases the travel demand of
the people.
People have
several benefits from travelling. The first and foremost reason is that, they
can broaden their perspective. Travel makes people to think differently by
observing other cultures so that they can open up new avenues of discovery. In
other words, the brain will be stimulated by experiencing new cultures with
surrounding new environments which allows them to think differently. Second, travel
can be liberating in many ways, but especially when it comes to self-discovery. <Need better coherence> Being out of the comfort zone can be challenging, but facing the personal
challenges will help you grow as an independent individual. Lastly, people can
release their stresses accumulated from daily routines. They People can ignore the
complicated issues while they are travelling.
In conclusion,
the modern technologies and development of such devices enable traveling to be much
easier. The cheaper and faster journey increases the travelling demand. <Need better cohesion> From travelling, people can learn various aspects
of life
Score: 7 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 다만 전체적으로 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시고 cohesion에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |