▶ Your Answer :
Schools can teach young children a foreign
language from young age. This can be a beneficial to young people in a number of
ways while it can cause the cultural discrepancies. <(Introduction에서 질문에 대한 답이 clear하지 않습니다. 또한 can이라는 표현은 가능성이 있다 라고 말을 해주고 있기 때문에 답을 답해주지는 않습니다)
Learning a language is beneficial for
children in several ways. The first and foremost reason is the career
potentials. With universal unemployment problems, a multilingual ability is a
definitely a competitive edge over others.
Secondly, it boosts brain power. By using more than one language at a
time, the brain recognises different languages appropriately according to the
situation. In other words, the brain can perform more than one task at a time
which enhances the multitask abilities. At last, cultural understandability will
be acceptable by bilingual children. A person can have a broader understanding
of the race or culture because a language is a doorway to a particular culture.
Despite with all these advantages, there
are disadvantages for children learning a foreign language at an early age. By
learning a new language since early age, they may have a difficulty of cultural
discrepancies. One of many reasons for adults to learn a new language is the
personal growth. They learn a new language for business or for the school
requirements. Since adults are already fully mastered with their native cultures,
learning a new language would not confuse them. Due to the intimate link
between language and culture, children will be confused get a confusion of the cultural
discrepancies between native and foreign cultures. In the case of my Chinese
friends who has been residing in Australia since she was seven 7 years old, she used
to be friends with other an Australian-Chinese. When she reached adolescence, her
self-identity was confusing. At that time, because she was not fully grasping
of one culture since she was having a mixed of two both cultures, she was not fit
into any cultural groups.
Even though children can grab multiple
skills that benefit physically <(what do you mean by physically?), learning a new language causes the confusion
in two distinct cultures leading the confusion of self-identity. Therefore, it
is not recommended that school to teach a foreign language from a young age.
Score: 6 Comment: 내용은 좋은데 질문을 답해주시는 것 보다는 advantages/disadvantages에 대해 discussion을 해주신 것 같습니다. 또한 글쓴이의 주장이 clear하게 들리지 않습니다. Introduction에 글쓴이의 주장을 조금 더 clarity 해주시고 그 주장을 기반으로 에세이를 서술을 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |