Many automobile manufacturers created self-driving systems for their vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of releasing cars with these systems.
Every passing day, the technology is continuously developing and numerous high-tech items tare introduced to the public. Recently, self-driving cars have been released and attracted many people’s attention. Simultaneously, it has brought a controversy since it has both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, since the self-driving car is equipped with a the well-organized computer system, it controls the driving process instead of the (a도 아예 틀린 건 아닙니다. 참고로, 관사는 그냥 넘기세요~어차피 공부한다고 되는 영역이 아닙니다. 그 시간에 스피킹 연습이나 하시는 게 효율적입니다.) a driver. Sometimes human beings make mistakes. Once they feel weary, it can affect them while driving. In fact, many car accidents are happened due to sleepy drivers. However, by driving a self-driving car, it can prevent the aforementioned problems. Moreover, drivers who have anxiety about driving can be free from the stress since the car drives for them.
Nevertheless, even though a self-driving car seems luxury and perfect, several disadvantages of self-driving system deter people from buying the car. First of all, there is a security problem since this system is based on the computer. Many computerized machines have a high risk of being hacked and bring systemic systemical malfunction. Moreover, a data spill of driver’s information could happen once it is hacked. Furthermore, the price of self-driving cars are extremely expensive and it is not affordable for many people. Meanwhile, there are a wide arrange of cars at a reasonable price with many options. (일반 자동차라고 적어주셔야 합니다.)
To sum up, it is true that the emergence of a self-driving car has brought controversy. In a positive perspective, it can drive automatically so that drivers can relax and not worry worrying about their physical condition. However, it also has disadvantages related to security problems and an exorbitant price.
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목표7
단어연습하는 중이라서..뭔가 안쓰던 단어 쓸려고 의식하면서 써봤는데요..표현이 어째 더 어색해진 것 같습니다.
어색한 표현 냉철하게 피드백 주십쇼! 항상 감사합니다.ㅠㅠ
아, self-driving 이 너무 자주 나온 것 같아서 슬펐지만,,뭔가 대체 하기 애매해서 그냥 두었어요 ㅠㅠ
-> 대체하는 게 애매하면 지금처럼 그냥 두시면 됩니다. 잘 해주셨어요. 괜히 되도않는 이상한 걸로 대체했다가 감점되는 것보다 이게 훨씬 낫습니다. 이것도 이전에 말씀드린 해도 되나 vs 해야 되나?의 연장선에서 보셔도 돼요.
총평: (7/7/6/7) 7.0
어색한 표현은 딱히 없었습니다. 보다 나은 표현이 쓰일 여지가 보이긴 하지만, 어휘 자체에 크게 문제가 있거나 한 상황은 아니에요. 제가 대부분의 학생들에게는 절대로 문장 길게 쓰지 말라고 말씀드리는데, cacaonibs님의 경우는 평균적인 학생들보다는 실력이 좋으시니까 약간의 그린라이트를 드리겠습니다. 지금보다는 조금 더 길게 쓰셔도 괜찮아요. 간혹 너무 짧은 문장들이 있긴 했네요.
수고하셨습니다 :)