The line charts depicts costs that British parents invest on their children's physical activities and how many children take part in football, swimming and athletics from the year 2008 to 2014. In overall Overall, as the costs showed an increase, the number of people increased on three parts during the given period.
As for costs on sports, parents invested (파란 부분을 이쪽으로 옮겨주시면 됩니다.) money to keep their teenagers fit exercise, accounting for about 20 pounds in 2008 roughly 32 pounds in 2014. Football occupied the most popular part during the period. About 8 millions of adolscents exercised through football in 2008. This level was nearly equal in 2010 and climbed at around 9 millions in 2014.
In regarding to Regarding other physical activities, swimming saw an increase steadly with football. The number of students learning swimming constituted about 2 millions in 2008. In 2014, the figure reached at 4 millions which had the lowest popularity out of total. Although the record of athletics in 2008 started at around 1 millions which was marginal, the figure of athletics overtook swimming at just over 2.5 millions in 2010 and peaked in 2012 as 5 millions. (지금 문단 배분이 잘못된 상황인데, 이에 대해서는 총평에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
총평: (6/6/7/6) 6.5
문단을 나누실 때에는 명확한 기준이 존재해야 합니다. 그러나 마지막 두 문단은 그러한 기준이 전혀 없이 그냥 길이로 나뉜 상황이고요. 일단 표가 두 개 이상 있으면 각 표에 문단을 하나씩 배분해주시면 돼요.
'그러면 첫 번째 표 내용이 너무 짧아지지 않나요?' 라고 의문점이 드실텐데, 그래도 괜찮습니다. 짧아지더라도 정확한 기준 아래 문단을 나누는 것이 더 중요해요.
수고하셨습니다 :)