The bar graph above indicates the number rate (둘은 의미가 전혀 다릅니다.) of men and women from Australia in various age teams who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Generally speaking, there is clearly it is clear to understand that the rate of females who is doing regular physical activity was higher than that of males doing regular physical activity in almost most (이 글을 읽으시는 즉시 most와 almost의 차이를 확실히 학습해서 익혀주세요!) age groups except for people aged from 15 to 24.
Through this chart given, the ratio of women was outstanding than compared to that of males from 45 to 54, with the former and latter showing 53.3% and 43.1% respectively such as the former(53.3%) and the latter(43.1%). On the other hand, From 15 to 24 in the youngest group, the percentage of males(52.8%) doing regular physical activity was superior to that of females(47.7%) doing the same. Overally (이런 표현은 따로 없으니까 주의해주세요!), the rate of male was lower than that of female from 25 to 64 remarkably. At the final age group, From 65 and over, the rate between them was almost similar at roughly 47%.
As a result, we can see that, from these bar groups, the female were more interested in practicing physical activity regularly than the male usually, but the young women from 15 to 24 were less accustomed to doing that than the young men. (위에서 했던 말입니다.)
총평: (5/6/5/6) 5.5
현재 가장 큰 문제는다 '특정 구간에서 여성의 수치가 남성의 그것보다 높다' 는 말이 세 번이나 쓰이고 있다는 점입니다. 거의 이 내용들로만 분석이 채워져서, 정작 필요한 다른 분석들은 되지 않은 상태이죠. 같은말을 계속 돌려서 하지 마시고, 다방면에서의 분석을 해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)