안녕하세요, 첨삭 부탁드려요.
목표점수는 7점이고 12월 중으로 시험을 보려고 합니다.
253자이고 17분 27초 걸렸습니다.
감사합니다.
We are using computers more and more ever than before nowadays. As developments of computer technologies, most students use their personal computers to learn. Some people believe that there will be soon no role for teachers in classroom.
Indeed, many contents replace the role of teachers in these days. For example, many students use a Youtube for educating. It provides students with vast contents. Many of them are made for educational purposes and the students actually love utilizing them. However, it seemingly alternates the teachers perfectly, it would not able to cover entire role of the teachers in the classroom. The students learn a lot of things from their teachers not only knowledges but also skills to live their life properly with other people such as relationship skills. Many of them are prone to act like whom they communicate. I strongly believe that one of the biggest effect for the students is the teachers. Because the students spend a lot of time with their teachers in the school.
In addition, the teachers have responsibilities to lead their students to the right way. Sometimes, some students do not proceed to the right way. For instance, they try to smoke, drink alcohols, bother their classmates and even quit their school. I insist that the teachers have to take care of these students and help them keep doing what they are supposed to do.
For these reasons, I believe that the computers can not substitute the teachers role even though they have been developed a lot.